


like those who've come before

by princ3ssf33t



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Bedtime Stories, Family Feels, Force-Sensitive Jacen, Gen, Other, Post-Canon, complicated feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:53:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24101662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princ3ssf33t/pseuds/princ3ssf33t
Summary: Jacen asked so many questions. He wanted to know everything he could. It wasn't anything Hera couldn't handle. And then one night he asked the one question she had been dreading him asking since he'd learned to speak."Could you tell me about my father?"
Relationships: Hera Syndulla & Jacen Syndulla, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 42





	like those who've come before

**Author's Note:**

> Let's give a big round of applause to quarantine for kicking my butt in gear and actually finishing this piece.

“Could you tell me about my father?” Jacen asked. 

Hera stopped when the question fell from her son’s lips. She was only partially out of her son’s room after saying her routine goodnight, headed to the cockpit to be sure that everything was still on course as they travelled through hyperspace, but those plans fled her brain at her son’s voice. She bit her lip and closed her eyes as she allowed the question to wash over her. 

She had known it was coming. Jacen had been in the stage where he was asking questions of everything for months now. He wanted to know everything he could: why was it just Hera and him and Chopper on the Ghost? Why did they live on the Ghost, moving from planet to planet, rather than settling down on one like their other friends had? Why did he look more human than twi’lek? 

She knew the last question had been one that was a source of great tension for her son. When they had visited her father and extended family on Ryloth, Jacen stood out among his family members. He was the only one with hair. Hera’s cousins had been merciless in their teasing Jacen about his lack of lekku. They had driven him to tears before he had tackled them into the dust. 

After the fight had been broken up and the punishment’s had been properly doled out, Hera ended her visit promptly. She promised she would return, but both she and her father knew that it would not be any time soon. Hera had explained that Jacen took after his father when she tucked him in that night. 

That had placated the young boy enough for him to fall asleep but since then, Jacen had taken to researching anything and everything he could about his father. 

“Please, Mom. You never talk about him.” There were creaks coming from the bed as he sat up. 

How could she? How could she explain to her son that his father was one of the most selfless men she had met in her entire life? How he loved the family he’d created more than his own life? That he was a powerful Jedi in a time when the universe truly needed the Jedi to help protect them? That he gave his life to save her’s and his? 

Where could she possibly begin?

“Please, Mom.” 

Still, this was a conversation long coming, and it was about time her son learned about the man who had contributed to his existence. 

Hera took a deep breath and returned to her son’s bedside. She sat near his knees and reached out to caress his tan cheek. Jacen leaned into Hera’s touch, but his face was still creased with his questions. Hera could almost hear his thoughts, wondering if she would avoid his questions this time as she had in the past. 

“What would you like to know?” 

Jacen’s face lit up in a way Hera remembered his father’s face lighting up. His smile spread across his face, nearly splitting it in half, and his blue eyes sparkled in the dim light. Jacen shuffled under his blanket and his fists clenched against the mattress pad. It took a moment before his face twisted as he thought of worthy questions to ask his mother. 

There were a few questions Hera knew was going to be asked. And she prepared herself as well as she could. 

“Was my father really a Jedi?” 

Hera smiled. Jacen was his father’s son. Starting with the tough questions. 

“Yes. Your father was a Jedi. And one of the most talented Force users I have met in my life.” Jacen didn’t need to know that so much of her experience with Force users had been users of the Dark side. Not yet. “He saved my life many times with those abilities of his.” 

“But how? The others told me that all of the Jedi were wiped out of the universe when the Clone Wars ended.” Jacen pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. His light blue eyes searched Hera’s. 

Hera opened her arms and welcomed him to curl up by her side. She attempted to hold a comforting face with her smile. Jacen unwrapped his arms from around himself and crawled into his mother’s side. Hera dropped her arm and held him tightly against her. Her other hand drifted up and smoothed his wild green hair. 

“Your father had a master, and she gave her life to be sure that your father could live.”

“Oh.” Jacen’s voice was quiet. He found it very hard to look his mother in the eye. “Like my father did for you and your crew.” 

“And you,” Hera reminded. “I was pregnant with you at the time.” 

“Really?” Jacen looked to the wall opposite him. “Do... Do you think that he knew about me? I’ve read in some old documents that Jedi could sense other life forms, even ones they couldn’t see.” 

Hera forced herself to smile. She ached to think about this. How many times had she attempted to reconcile what she hadn’t told him with what he had attempted to tell her before that fuel depot exploded? How many times had those thoughts kept her up at night? Thinking about what she would tell her son in this exact moment? 

She pulled her closer to her and rested her chin against his head. His hair was soft and it reminded her of  _ his _ . 

“I think he did,” Hera said finally. It was close enough to the truth for now. “He was attuned to things like that.” 

Jacen turned to look back at his mother, unshed tears in his eyes. The ache deepened in Hera’s chest and she caressed his cheek. His skin was cool to her touch, as it always was, a by-product of his hybrid nature. His internal temperature ran too hot for normal humans, but was lower than a twi'lek’s. 

“Do you think he would have loved me?” Jacen looked to be in as much despair as Hera felt. 

“Sweetheart,” Hera cooed, leaning forward and kissing him on his forehead. “Of course he would have loved you. I’m absolutely sure.” 

She clutched her son to her chest and gently rocked him back and forth. Try as she might, there was nothing she could do to replace the love that only a father could give. Zeb and Kallus were like uncles, always there to offer advice, but always taking a step back when it came to the actual raising and discipline portions of Jacen’s life. Cham was equal parts strict and doting when it came to his grandchild, but only when they could manage a visit. And Ezra… Ezra tried to be a mentor figure to Jacen, but too often Hera found that he fell into the role of an older brother when they interacted. Complete with as much trouble as they could get into. 

Which was fine with Hera, in her mind, Ezra was still the teenage boy they picked up on Lothal. 

But no one could be the substitute for her boy’s father. 

Hera began to sing one of the lullaby’s her mother sang to her when she was young. It wasn’t often that she had the opportunity to sing it now, not since their trip to Ryloth and the cousins that had teased him about his human heritage, told him that lullaby’s were only for babies. Determined to prove that he wasn’t a baby, he’d told his mother that he wasn’t going to let her sing him to sleep anymore. 

But now as she sang the song of her childhood, Jacen didn’t protest as she did so. He just wrapped his little arms around her shoulders and clung tightly to her as she sang and rocked him back and forth. She stroked the back of his head. When the song ended, she started it up all over again. The longer she sang and rocked him, the heavier he felt in her arms. His grip around her neck loosened until one of his arms slipped from around her shoulders. 

Giving her son a smile that was anything but forced, Hera stood and returned her son to his bunk. Once again, she pulled the blanket up to his chin and tucked the blanket around him. She pressed one last kiss to his brow and retreated from his cabin. 

“Mom?” 

Hera stopped outside the door and looked back at Jacen. He had rolled over slightly to face the corridor, but his eyes were only half open as he looked toward the door. 

“Yes, sweetheart?” 

“Do you think that I could become a Jedi? And help people like Dad?”

Hera forced herself to swallow before she attempted to respond. Dread swelled within her even as a voice in the back of her mind told her that this question was as inevitable as the others. Of course he would ask. In truth, Hera had almost been certain that as soon as he had learned of his father’s history as a Jedi, he would have asked if he could become one too. Even when Ezra came back and taught Jacen how to control some of his talents, he didn’t ask. 

Then again, Jacen had always been taken by anything pertaining to flight and had little interest in other things, so perhaps it wasn’t such a surprise. Jacen was his mother’s son. 

“If you want to be a Jedi, you would only need to decide that for yourself,” Hera said, despite the way her heart dropped in her chest. 

“Thanks, Mom,” Jacen slurred before his eyes closed entirely and he fell asleep. 

“Goodnight,” Hera said, and closed the door. She walked the short distance to the cockpit and fell into her pilot’s chair. 

Chopper warbled at her from his place near the computer and swiveled his dome to look at her. 

“He asked about  _ him  _ tonight,” she answered his question. “Asked if he could be a Jedi like his father.” 

Chopper rolled away from the computer terminal and approached Hera. He rumbled and his manipulator arms waved around his dome, clearly not happy with the idea of the young organic leaving them behind to become the thing that had taken nearly half of his crew away. 

“No, Chop, I didn’t tell him about Skywalker’s offer.” Hera took a deep breath. “But if Jacen decides that he truly wants to follow his father’s path, then I will tell him.” 

If he could have, Hera was sure that Chopper would have rolled his eyes as he turned around and resumed his position at the computer terminal. He was certainly not restraining his complaints or his language as he did so. Hera let him vent his frustrations. Jacen was asleep, so there was no need to reprimand him for his language. 

Focusing instead on the blue and white swirl of hyperspace outside the ship, Hera was glad that they were headed back to Lothal. As difficult as it was to visit the planet where she had lost so much, it was also the place where she had gained something too. 

A soft smile appeared on her face at the thought. 

“He’s gonna end up taking up after you, Love,” she whispered into the open air of the cockpit. 

Somehow, Hera knew that Kanan was smiling. 


End file.
